


Begin Again

by Rainewritesfanfics



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexuality, F/F, Found Family, It's sad and heroic, Kinmoku, Mamoru Dies, Multi, Plane Crash, Silver Millennium flashbacks, Underground Civilization, are you the same person or not?, canon compliant suicide, post season one, reincarnation problems, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainewritesfanfics/pseuds/Rainewritesfanfics
Summary: As the Prime Minister, Mamoru knew he had made himself a target. He just never imagined this. As the plane crashes down, he wraps his wife and daughter in his arms and prays for someone to save them.Usagi wakes up alone. The woman tending to her wounds doesn't speak her language, but she manages to catch what she thinks is a name- Seiya.Back in Tokyo, the Senshi are gathered together to find their missing friend. If Mamoru's staff won't tell them what happened, they will tear the world apart looking for Usagi and her family.





	1. Premonition

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT!!!
> 
> So, this is a fic that I've been working on for even longer than Kiss the World Goodbye. This particular fic is Seiya x Usagi, and it's and AU set eight years after the final battle with Beryl robbed the Inner Senshi of their memories. In this story, Usagi got her wish to live as a normal girl, at least until now. 
> 
> The outer senshi never awakened, but the dormant inner senshi found each other anyway, and along the way, they met Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna. In this fic, Usagi and Mamoru did not get together until later than in the canon, since (as far as they remembered) they still hated each other.
> 
> It is important to note that the Starlights are all women in this fic. This is a girlxgirl story, so if you prefer male Seiya, this may not be the story for you.

Hino Rei sat meditating before the Sacred Fire of the Hikawa Shrine. It was getting quite late, but a sense of dread had settled itself in the pit of her stomach, and nothing seemed to be able to unwind it. 

The priestess's frown only deepened as the evening faded into night. If anything the feeling was growing stronger, and she couldn't shake the worry that it had something to do with her best friend. 

Usagi and Rei had just gone to see a movie two days prior, and Rei knew that her friend and god-daughter were currently on a plane with Mamoru en route to the World Trade Organization summit. Usagi had been complaining about the image she had to maintain as the prime minister's wife, and Rei had been teasing her longtime friend. Now, Rei was almost sure something horrible was happening to the bubbly blonde.

Rei wished she could have called, but their pilot, Asanuma, always insisted that cell phones be off. Perhaps she should send a message to Usagi's laptop, if only to assuage her worry. 

Just as Rei rose to her feet intent on contacting her friend, the Sacred Fire roared from a flame to a great blaze. At that exact moment, Rei felt as though she had been punched in the gut. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong indeed.

.......

On the other side of Tokyo, Michiru's paintbrush clattered to the ground, leaving golden splatters on the tile. From across the apartment, she heard panicked footsteps. 

Haruka rounded the corner, a frenzied look in her smoky blue eyes. "Did you-"

"Yes."

Haruka punched the wall. "Damnit! I knew something was wrong. The winds have been crying all day. Maybe if I'd just told her not to go..."

Michiru stood shakily, her legs hardly able to manage through her shock. "No, Haruka, this is my fault. The seas have been restless for weeks. If only I'd been able to figure them out sooner."

"We need to go," Haruka begged. "I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her."

Michiru nodded, tossing the keys to her lover as she grabbed her cell phone and purse. "You drive. I'll call the others. I'm sure Ami will know something."

......

Ami and Makoto were out on their weekly date night, but for some reason, neither of them had felt at ease the whole evening. The cooking class had failed to bring a smile to Makoto's face, and the bookstore trip had been unsuccessful in piquing Ami's interest. 

While they were absently sipping their tea, a wave of panic washed over both of them.

"Usagi," the both breathed at the same moment, dropping their cups in surprise and terror. 

The waitress approached them, fussing over the broken ceramics and checking them for injuries, but they fell deaf to the outside world. 

The ringing in their ears was finally drowned out by the ringing of Ami's phone. 

"Michiru-san?" Ami had already pulled out her laptop, and was searching the internet for any news. Nothing.

"Did you feel it too?"

Ami felt her stomach lurch. Something happened. Usagi was in danger; she just knew it. "Yes, but what does it mean?"

The surgeon heard a frustrated sigh from her friend. "I wish I knew.... I just feel like something terrible has happened to Usagi-chan, and I don't know why. I tried calling Mamoru-san's secretary, but she wouldn't say anything, not even when I gave her my clearance."

"Where are you now? Makoto and I will meet you there."

"Haruka and I are on our way to the shrine. I'll call Setsuna and Minako-chan. See if you can do some digging in the meantime."

"Understood."

Grabbing Makoto's hand, she hurried an apology to the waitress, shoved some money into the woman's hands, and ran to their car.

Without a word, Makoto slid into the driver's seat, starting the car and taking off for the temple. Her earthy eyes were locked on the road, but her mind was racing. 

In the seat beside her, Ami was working on hacking the national defenses in hopes of tracking down the plane. "Come on, come on....Got it!"

Makoto glanced over at her girlfriend as she fell silent. "Ami, what's going on. Talk to me."

Ami's eyes locked on the words, and she felt the world collapsing around her. "The plane went radio silent 15 minutes ago, and just now, they got confirmation that her plane was hit. They have no idea where Usagi-chan, Mamoru-san, Chibiusa-chan or Asanuma-kun are, or if they are alive."


	2. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi is scared.

Usagi groaned in pain as she struggled to wake up. 

Was the world normally this quiet? Where was she?

The last she could recall, the plane was about to crash, she was protecting Chibiusa, and Mamoru was protecting her.

Eyes flashing open in panic, Usagi faintly registered that her ears were ringing, and her eyes stung, even against the dim light. Where was her daughter?! Where was her husband?

Usagi tried sitting up, but firm hands held her down. She heard voices come into focus as the ringing faded. 

No matter how she tried, the voices did not seem to form words. 

"Chibiusa!" Usagi cried, struggling weakly against the hands. Where was her baby? "Mamo-chan!" She wanted to see her family, but all she could see was the faint light that came from above.

After looking to the side and waiting, the owner of the firm hands slowly came into focus, revealing a woman about her age. She was striking. Deep blue eyes, nearly the same shade as Mamoru's, and messy black locks pulled back into a ponytail. 

The woman was saying something, but the words did not resemble any of the languages Usagi had ever heard, which, being the prime minister's wife, was quite a few.

"Where is my baby?" Usagi asked, looking directly at the woman.

The woman frowned, shaking her head with a confused expression. She seemed to understand Usagi just as well as Usagi understood her. 

Usagi pushed the woman's hands off of her shoulders and sat up, immediately regretting it when a wave of pain nearly made her double over and vomit. Usagi glanced down and saw a large bloodstain near her waist. The sight made her dizzy.

Without hesitating, the woman pushed her back into a laying position on the soft surface. Based on the woman's tone, she was scolding Usagi. 

Moaning in pain, Usagi mimed cradling a baby, hoping the woman would understand.

The woman's eyes flashed in recognition at the motion. Turning away from Usagi, she called something out to whomever else was in the room, and Usagi just barely heard the clacking of retreating footsteps.

When the woman turned back to Usagi, she gently brushed the blonde's bangs aside, patting her head and murmuring gentle things. For all Usagi knew, the woman could be insulting her, but something about the look in those blue eyes made her doubt that very much. 

A few minutes later, they both turned to the sound of crying and approaching footsteps.

A taller woman with neat, chestnut hair entered the room with a pink-haired bundle that had Usagi crying in relief.

The blue eyed woman gently slid something resembling a pillow behind Usagi so the blonde was propped up just high enough to hold her daughter without aggravating her wound further.

The other woman gingerly passed the baby to Usagi, an awkward smile tugging on her lips. 

Usagi clutched the baby close, kissing the infant's scrunched forehead over and over, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Glancing into the violet eyes of the taller woman, Usagi smiled. "Thank you," she said, trying very hard to convey her gratitude through her tone and gaze. It seemed to work when the woman smiled warmly and inclined her head slightly.

When the woman left, Usagi turned back to her baby. Chibiusa had calmed since being back in her mother's arms, and Usagi wasted no time in checking the little girl for injuries.

Other than a couple of little scratches on her cheeks, the five-month-old appeared unscathed. 

The blue eyed woman was still standing near where Usagi rested, not trusting the blonde to be wary of her wound.

After a few minutes of staring at Usagi and Chibiusa, the woman cleared her throat softly, drawing the young mother's attention.

When Usagi looked up, the woman was pointing to herself. "Seiya," she said. She then motioned for Usagi to do the same.

Holding Chibiusa with her left arm, she pointed to herself with her right thumb. "Usagi." 

The woman- Seiya- nodded, sounding her name out and trying it, "Usagi?"

The blonde nodded. She pointed to the woman and said, "Seiya?"

Seiya nodded, a small smile twitching at her lips.

Usagi then pointed to the baby and slowly enunciated, "Chibiusa."

It took two tries, but Seiya repeated the name, earning a smile from Usagi. 

Seiya came closer, and gently rubbed Chibiusa's cheek with one finger. Chibiusa cooed as Seiya talked. The woman was saying something in a tone that was clearly baby-talk, and it pleased Usagi.

After far too little time, Usagi found herself blinking away sleep. Noticing her exhaustion, Seiya reached out to take Chibiusa.

Usagi hesitated for a moment, but after pressing one last kiss to her daughter's forehead, she passed the baby to Seiya. 

Even though they had just met, Usagi found herself inclined to trust the other woman. Something about the sincerity in those blue eyes was so much like Mamoru. 

As Usagi fell asleep, Seiya's blue eyes faded into Mamoru's, and then she was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated!


	3. The Talking Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A somber meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry for the long gap. My grandfather was having some major health problems. He's doing okay now, though. 
> 
> Besides that, I was out of town for a week and a half, and then i had to recover from some pretty awful jet-lag. 
> 
> This is just a short little chapter to bridge the gap and get the side-plot rolling. The next main should be up soon.

It didn't take long until they reached the shrine. By the time Makoto swung out of the car and pulled Ami up the steps, their friends were already gathered. 

Rei was fidgeting with her robes, her dark eyes locked on the moon as though it would reveal everything. 

Haruka was shaking with rage and panic as her fists and jaw continuously clenched and unclenched. Michiru was rubbing the racer's shoulders, but she looked equally distraught. 

Setsuna and Minako were talking anxiously when they heard Makoto and Ami approaching.

Five pairs of eyes locked on Ami, eager to hear anything about their friend. Ami looked back at them morosely, her words stuck in her throat until Makoto squeezed her hand sympathetically. "Her plane went down." The words came out robotically. The truth still not quite sinking in. "The government has no idea if they are alive or not."

Silence replaced the quiet rustles. The air remained motionless, and then all at once, Haruka turned and punched the closest tree. "God damn it!" Her chin fell to her chest, and tears formed in her eyes. "God damn it."

"What can we do?" Minako asked, her eyes welling with tears, and her fists shaking. "We can't just sit here! We can't just not know."

"You're going to go find her," a new voice spoke. 

The girls turned toward the voice, their eyes locking on the black cat perched atop the temple. 

"You must find Usagi-chan," the cat told them, her ruby eyes glassy with forming tears. 

"Luna?" Ami stared, her eyes taking in the cat who had been with Usagi as long as she could remember. "You can talk?"

Luna offered a terse nod.

"It is time for you to remember. It is time for you to resume your duty," the cat announced. She bowed her head. "I'm sorry it has come to this, but I fear that dark forces are behind Usagi-chan's disappearance." Luna shook her head, "We tried so hard to let you guys live a peaceful life the way Serenity and Usagi-chan wanted." Her eyes were welling with tears that were moments away from spilling over. "Oh, Usagi-chan...." 

Artemis took his place beside her, nudging her shoulder gently as he took over, his crescent mark glowing. "Sailor Senshi, the time has come. Awaken!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought!


	4. The Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi meets a familiar stranger in her dreams.

Usagi dreamt of a beautiful woman with long silvery hair that was tied up in buns like her own normal style. The ethereal woman had light eyes that twinkled with kindness. She had a sort of natural grace that reminded Usagi of the royalty she had met at many of the dinners she had attended with Mamoru.

The silver haired woman smiled, reaching a hand toward Usagi, and, without thinking, Usagi reached back. The woman's hand was warmer than Usagi expected, but the heat felt as natural as holding Chibiusa or kissing Mamoru. 

There was something familiar about the woman, but when Usagi tried to recall her, her brain protested. It didn't take long until Usagi gave up and allowed the woman to lead her.

In the dream, they wandered silently through an ethereal garden. The plants almost seemed to glow in the night atmosphere, and Usagi stopped along the stone path, kneeling to inhale a sweet, olive scent coming from a patch of clustered white flowers. 

"What are these?" Usagi asked the woman, startling as her voice came out sounding younger. 

The woman smiled, crouching down beside Usagi. "These are Osmanthus blossoms. You were quite fond of them."

"I- I can't recall..." Usagi murmured, her lips pulling into a little frown. 

"That's okay." The woman turned her warm gaze back to Usagi. Usagi narrowed her eyes as nostalgia washed over her.

"I know you." It wasn't a question, but the woman answered with a nod anyway.

The woman offered no further comment as she gently pulled Usagi back to her feet. Her eyes grew sad, even as her lips tried to smile. "I'm sorry, Serenity. I never wanted this for you. Oh how I wish I could be there for you now."

Usagi opened her mouth to reply, but the only thing to cross her lips was, "Moth-" before she stopped herself abruptly. What was she about to say? For a second, she would have sworn she was going to say 'Mother,' but that wouldn't be right.

Who was this woman? Usagi's brows furrowed as they stood in silence.

After a minute, the woman sighed, leaned down, and pressed a kiss to Usagi's forehead, right above her scrunched brow. When she stepped back, she whispered sadly, "Wake up, my dear."

When she awoke with a small start, Usagi noticed that her hand was still warm and clutching someone else's. Slowly glancing down, she noticed she had somehow gripped Seiya's hand in her sleep. The other woman was snoring softly in a chair beside the cushioned cot Usagi had been sleeping on. 

A few moments later, Usagi noticed something resembling a bassinet next to her and Seiya. Chibiusa was soundly asleep on her stomach with a little blanket just covering up to her shoulders. She felt a wave of gratitude that Seiya and her people were taking care of them. Usagi gingerly sat up, waiting for the nauseating pain to hit, but after a full minute, no pain ever came. 

Gently, she let go of her grip on Seiya and unwound their hands. She then eased back the covers and lifted the edge of the bandages that were brown with dried blood. When she looked at the skin underneath, she frowned upon finding nothing but a large, fading scar. How long had she been asleep?

She turned back to Seiya when she heard rustling. The other woman was stretching lazily and stifling a yawn as she awoke. Seeing Usagi awake, Seiya smiled and murmured, "Good morning, Odango."

Usagi frowned again. "My name is Usagi, you know."

Seiya shrugged, stretching again. She then froze, turning slowly back to Usagi. "Wait... You can understand me!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I wanted to start introducing the Silver Millennium/Kinmoku details, so this scene was the solution.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	5. History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi learns the history of Seiya's people.

Usagi startled. She and Seiya looked at each other in shock. "I-I can? Wait, why? You didn't speak Japanese yesterday."

Seiya frowned, her brows furrowing. "Is that your language? It sounds like you are speaking Kinmokun to me."

Usagi shook her head. "I've never heard of that language before."

Seiya looked perplexed. She glanced up at Usagi, her mouth open to say something, but her eyes fixed on something else, and she stopped, her eyes growing even wider. "Oh," she murmured. Her face flickered with pain before smoothing out. "That might explain things."

"What are you talking about?"

"Stay here," Seiya told her, rising to her feet and smoothing her red tunic. "I'm going to get Taiki, she'll be better able to explain."

Usagi was unable to protest before Seiya was gone, so she stayed. After a few minutes of idly waiting, she carefully unwound the bandages. When her torso was bare, she traced the light pink scar. She could have sworn that it was bigger before Seiya woke up.

After several minutes, Chibiusa started crying, so Usagi sat on the edge of the bed. From there, she scooped her daughter up and began to feed her. She used the blanket from the bassinet as a cover out of habit. 

Just as she finished burping the pink-haired baby, Usagi was able to hear approaching footsteps and hushed whispers. 

When Seiya and three more women entered the room, they were surprised to see Usagi sitting up and playing with the baby. 

Usagi looked up, recognizing the brunette woman from before. She was talking to Seiya, asking, "And you're sure that she can understand you?" 

"Yes, I can understand you," Usagi said, startling the brunette and her two new companions. 

"I told you so," Seiya boasted as the brunette and the silver-haired woman gasped. The last woman, this one with pure crimson hair, simply stared at Usagi's forehead.

"Usagi," Seiya said, "I'd like to introduce you to my sisters. The one you saw yesterday is Taiki, and the short one over there is Yaten."

"Hey!" Yaten hissed.

Seiya ignored the girl and continued, "And the beautiful woman next to Yaten is High Priestess Kakyuu. To be clear, she is not my sister."

The priestess bowed to Usagi and offered a kind smile as she approached. Usagi bowed her head in reply.

Usagi looked between the women, her gaze finally landing on the tall one, Taiki. "Seiya said that you might be able to explain why I can understand you now."

"We can indeed," the priestess answered instead. Her smile grew, and if not for her regal bearing, Usagi would have called the look mischievous. 

Kakyuu sat in the chair beside the bed. "Let me tell you a tale." Usagi frowned, and sensing her thoughts, the priestess added, "It will all tie together in the end. It will all make sense, I promise." 

Usagi's brows furrowed, but she motioned for the woman to proceed. Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten leaned against the granite wall. With the soft overhead light, Usagi thought they almost looked angelic. With the lighting, Usagi realized that Seiya's hair was actually a very, very dark blue, and she spent a few moments staring in fascination. 

She snapped to attention as Kakyuu began. "You see, our society is fairly old. Over two thousand years ago, the third queen of our people, Serenity, married the most powerful warrior in the land. The two brought an era of peace and prosperity to the people of Kinmoku. This is what we called the start of the Silver Millennium. Nearly one thousand years after marriage, Serenity and her lover gave birth to a daughter whom they named Serenity II."

Usagi's eyes widened. How could the royal couple have been over a millennium old? It simply wasn't possible! She was so distracted by this that she forgot that the names of the queen and the princess were the same as in her dream.

Kakyuu brushed her index finger under Chibiusa's chin affectionately. "Princess Serenity was beloved by her people, and she was guarded by many brave warriors. The first ones to guard her were those bearing the marks of the heavenly bodies."

"Sailor Senshi," Usagi murmured, causing both her and Kakyuu to pause.

"What was she guarded from?" Usagi asked clearing her throat awkwardly and trying to avoid Kakyuu's deep ruby eyes. 

"Anyone who would wish her harm." Kakyuu sighed. "Serenity fell in love with a man. One from the world up there," here the woman gestured vaguely toward the ceiling, making Usagi suddenly aware of the fact that they were underground. She took a few deep breaths as the revelation sank in. "He was like nothing she had ever seen, for we had no menfolk here- or, rather, on the Moon, as we were at the time." 

Usagi frowned. On the moon and no men? How was that possible? Was she being pranked? Was this a fairytale? She opened her mouth to ask, but Kakyuu continued her tale. "Serenity fell in love with the Earth Prince, Endymion. Unfortunately, he was promised to another." Usagi felt a flash of pain and frowned, pausing as she rocked Chibiusa.

When she looked up, Usagi noticed that all of the women had grown somber as Kakyuu murmured, "In a fit of rage, Endymion's promised one vowed to kill him. To accomplish this end, she invited a great evil to possess her body and wreak vengeance against not just the couple, but both of their kingdoms." Kakyuu closed her eyes and continued, "When Endymion and Serenity were meeting in the forest above, Beryl hypnotized the prince's knights, who razed the Golden Kingdom of Earth to the ground with the help of a dark army. The same men who had once stood by the prince's side later killed all but one of the princess's guardians." 

Usagi gasped, tears welling up in her eyes. Images of her own friends flashed before her eyes, and she nearly sobbed.

If she had looked behind Kakyuu, she would have seen Seiya's broken expression. She would have seen the clench of her jaw and the curl of her fists. But Usagi was too intent on Kakyuu's tale. 

"Once she had broken the last of Serenity's warriors, Beryl took the guardian to watch. Watch as Beryl ran Endymion through with his own sword." Kakyuu grimaced as if she were tasting the bitterness of the story. "In her grief, our princess grabbed the sword, and, despite the screams of her wounded guardian, followed her love."

Seiya punched the wall, startling Usagi and Kakyuu. Her face was drawn into a furious scowl. Usagi wondered why the woman was so upset about deaths from a millennium ago. 

"That's such a sad thing," Usagi whispered as tears streamed down her face. She had no idea why this story felt so familiar. Her heart ached for the princess as if it were her own pain.

Kakyuu bit her lip. "It is indeed. Upon our princess's death, all light seemed to vanish from the kingdom. Our people lost their longevity and became susceptible to mortal weaknesses." 

Kakyuu closed her eyes and sighed, looking on the verge of tears. "Overcome with grief, Queen Serenity used the source of her power, the Silver Crystal, to send her daughter's essence into the future, where she and Endymion, and the royal guard could be reborn and live happily." Usagi saw something like shock register on the faces of the other three women. "Once she had done so, the crystal shattered into seven shards and absorbed the monsters that had run rampant through the two kingdoms."

Seiya's eyes had grown comically wide, and she looked on the verge of crying and screaming. 

Usagi would have asked Seiya what was wrong, but as Kakyuu resumed, she felt as though there was something she was missing. Rei would be making fun of her, saying something like "Pay attention, Usagi! Now is not the time to be distracted!"

"After sending her daughter to the future, Queen Serenity used the last of her magic to save our civilization by moving us here. Then, she left my ancestor, the High Priestess, to watch over the throne as her body faded."

"Faded?" Usagi asked as she bounced Chibiusa.

"Yes." Kakyuu clasped Usagi's free hand between her palms. "Overuse of the Silver Crystal reduced her to a shadow of herself. She grew so faint that only my ancestors, those of us bearing this mark," Kakyuu pointed to the four-petalled flower on her forehead, "could still hear her voice."

"But what about the the princess's father?" Usagi asked.

Kakyuu tilted her head, and Usagi got the impression that she might have laughed under different circumstances. "You forget that we had no menfolk. The princess was born to Serenity and her wife, Galaxia."

Usagi blushed, staring at the purple cloth of the sheets as she twisted it in her hands. "Oh. My apologies. What happened to Galaxia?"

Kakyuu sighed again, something she seemed to do quite a bit. "With her wife unable to defend the city, her heir dead, the people rebuilding after the move, and the royal guard decimated, Galaxia and the last warrior were all who were left to defend when Chaos attacked." Usagi watched Seiya out of curiosity, but the woman looked numb, and her sisters looked ashamed. "Between the two of them, they managed to protect the city, but at a great cost. The last guard died, and Galaxia used her Chou Crystal to seal Chaos within herself before disappearing."

Kakyuu looked straight into Usagi's watering eyes. "Since that day, my family's duty has been to guard the throne of the Silver Millennium until its rightful heir returns."

"How are you supposed to know who that is?" Usagi asked. How was anyone supposed to know who the heir was in a world with billions of people?

Kakyuu grinned, and Usagi noticed Taiki massaging her temple while Yaten smothered a laugh.

"The heir will bear the mark of the White Moon Family. A gold crescent moon in the same place as my mark." 

"You'd think that would draw some attention," Usagi supposed as the baby yanked at her hair.

Yaten burst out laughing and Taiki gave a long sigh. 

"Yes," Kakyuu said, giggling a bit. "The mark is quite noticeable, and rather like the one on your forehead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this twist on the Silver Millennium!
> 
> Please let me know what you thought!


	6. The Leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The senshi try to locate Usagi's plane in a vast forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's for you, Fooze.

Usagi. Sailor Moon. Princess Serenity. 

As Minako scanned the forests below for the downed plane, her mind struggled to wrap around the memories that threatened to drown her. 

It had been nearly eight years since she had last donned the mantle of Sailor Venus, but her re-awakening caused the memories of the Dark Kingdom to ring as clear as day in her mind. 

Further back, she could recall meeting Artemis and becoming Sailor V. It almost seemed like a crazy dream. 

At twenty-two, she could hardly believe what she had seen and done when she was just a teen. Even harder to believe was the Silver Millennium and the life she had lived as Princess Venus. Those memories were blurrier, as if she was looking at them through glasses of the wrong prescription. 

And then there was her princess...

Minako's heart clenched and her stomach swirled with a nausea that had little to do with Haruka's piloting skills. The blood rushing in her ears almost drowned out the whirring of the helicopter's blades. 

Princess Serenity- now Chiba Usagi- was somewhere in the greenery below. Probably hurt. Maybe-. No. Minako shook her head. Usagi wasn't dead. Usagi was alive, the Venusian told herself. She had to be alive down there. 

Fate wouldn't be cruel enough to steal her princess from her again. Minako would not and could not allow it. 

The early winter winds ripped through the helicopter as Haruka flew with the setting sun at her back. Minako spared a glance across the sky to look at Ami and Makoto as Michiru steered her helicopter closer. 

Static buzzed over the comm link for a moment before Michiru's voice came through. "We've had no luck to the north."

Haruka sighed. 

"We have also come up empty handed," Setsuna replied, sinking lower into the seat beside Haruka. Her posture seemed to be sagging under the weight of losing Usagi, Chibiusa, and Mamoru. Minako saw the dark bags under the garnet eyes of her friend, and she knew that she wore a matching pair.

Rei's voice followed. "Ami-chan, have you had any luck narrowing down the field of... of impact?" Minako saw Rei's lip quaver out of the corner of her eye, and she felt tears of frustration begin to sting behind her eyes.

"There are so many variables," Ami began. "Even with the Mercury computer, the analysis still hasn't come through." Minako could almost hear the fatigue in Ami's voice. It had been almost fifteen hours since they had learned the truth, and with tensions as high as they were, no one had gotten any rest on the plane ride to the Kaioh family compound.

They had been airborne for hours now, having taken the helicopters only minutes after getting off the plane. 

"Oh Usagi-chan," Minako whispered, the winds tearing the name from her mouth. Her eyes watered, blurring the greenery below her like watercolors spilling across the evening sky.

"Ami-chan," Setsuna's smooth voice came across the line, "how much longer do you think the calculations will take?"

Minako could almost hear the grief in her friend's words. "Two hours."

Michiru's worried voice followed. "We can't stay airborne that much longer. Even with the reserve fuel, we would need to land and refill the tanks."

"But there's nowhere to land around here," Makoto pointed out. "We'd have to go back to the last refuel point, and that's an hour in the wrong direction."

Minako could almost hear Haruka gritting her teeth. She could feel the tension radiating off the Uranian warrior. Part of Minako wanted to scream that Haruka, like Michiru and Setsuna, didn't even know what it was like. How could they when they had missed the battle with the Dark Kingdom in both lifetimes?

The larger part of Minako stayed silent because she knew they weren't at fault. Her memories of the Silver Millennium were clear enough for her to know that internal solar system affairs weren't part of their duties. A threat like Metalia and Beryl would not have awoken them.

Minako also knew it wasn't fair to think that she was the only one suffering. She had been a warrior for the longest, had trained Usagi from behind the Sailor V game, and had watched over her princess for two lifetimes, but that did not lessen or invalidate the feelings of the other women with her. Usagi was the glue that bound them all together, princess or not, and without her, they all felt like sailors without a compass to point them home.

After a few minutes of relative silence, Setsuna's voice came again. "Minako-chan. You are our leader; what should we do?"

Minako startled. Just yesterday she'd been worried about what she was going to wear to her album release party, now here she was leading the strongest women in the solar system on a rescue mission. 

Minako weighed the options, and then did so again when she came to a conclusion she didn't like. With a sigh, she opened her mouth, ready to give the order to turn around for the night. "We-" she paused, cutting herself off as her eyes widened. "Over there!" she shouted, her heart racing. "Haruka-san! To the southeast, do you see it in the distance!"

"Where?" Haruka asked, her eyes scanning the horizon. 

Minako sat forward, pointing eagerly to the patch of upturned trees about two miles out. "There."

"I see it." Haruka steered the copter in the direction of the pale, rising moon. "Michiru, follow me. We're going in."

"I'm right behind you," came the reply.

"Alright, everyone!" Minako called. "Let's bring them home!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of the Minako-centric tone.


	7. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi learns a hard truth.
> 
> Featuring angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you enjoy this latest chapter! I'm having fun with this au, and I'm excited to show you what I've created!

"Oh, I see. Wait- what?" Usagi ran her hand through her bangs, but she did not feel anything unusual. 

"Perhaps this will help," Kakyuu suggested, offering up a small mirror from the bedside table.

Usagi took the glass and held it up. A first, she didn't see anything. Her skin was a bit pale and her hair looked greasy, but nothing bizarre. She brushed her bangs aside.

Then she screamed.

"What is that! That wasn't there before!" Her hands flew over her forehead, shakily tracing the shining golden crescent as she looked at it in the mirror.

Kakyuu giggled at Usagi's panic. "Tell me, have you see a silver-haired woman since you got here?"

"Ye-yes. I saw a woman in my dreams with long silver hair... and silver eyes too." Usagi put her panic on pause to level the priestess with a wary look. "Why? Who is she?"

"Your mother," Kakyuu said softly, brushing Usagi's free hand gently. "Queen Serenity."

Usagi's eyes widened for a split second before she yanked her hand away from Kakyuu. 

"No." Her tone was firm, but her eyes flashed with pain. "My mother's name is Tsukino Ikuko. She died of cancer two years ago, not using some crystal a thousand years ago. And I have a father. Kenji. Not a second mother."

Kakyuu gave the blonde a pitying look. "I'm sure they are lovely people, but I am not saying that they were not your parents." She let Chibiusa grab her hand while she explained, "You are the reincarnation of Serenity II. Physically, you were born to the parents you knew, but your soul was born here."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Usagi whined, her panic over the crescent mark returning. "This is all a prank, right? Me? A princess? As if. I mean the most special thing about me is my husba-" Usagi cut herself off, her eyes growing wider. "Wait! Where is he? Where is Mamo-chan?!"

"Who?" Kakyuu asked gently. 

"Chibiusa's father, my husband, the prime minister of Japan!" Usagi felt panic rising again. "He- he's tall and has black hair and blue eyes just like hers," here, Usagi frantically pointed to Seiya. "Please, where is he?"

Kakyuu frowned solemnly and Usagi felt her anxiety mounting. She whirled, hoping one of the other three would have a different reaction. 

Taiki and Yaten had glued their eyes to the floor, and Yaten was picking at her armband.

Finally, Usagi turned. "Seiya...?"

Seiya met her eyes, but her expression left Usagi feeling crushed. 

Seiya took a breath, her eyes drifting closed. "Odango, you and the baby survived, but the two men did not. When we found your vessel, everything was on fire."

Usagi felt her face go slack as the gnawing emptiness that had accompanied her since awaking grew into a black hole.

"When we doused the fire, we found the pilot's body. At first, we didn't know you were there, but then the little one started crying."

Seiya pushed off of the wall, taking Kakyuu's place on the edge of the bed. Seiya brushed back Usagi's bangs as she continued, "My sisters and I moved the wreckage, following Chibiusa's cries, and we found the three of you." 

Usagi's lip quivered, and tears formed in her eyes. Kakyuu gingerly took Chibiusa and placed her in the bassinet for fear that Usagi would lose her grip.

Seiya looked away and sighed. She didn't want to continue, but she knew she owed it to Usagi. Finally, she met the teary blue eyes again.

"Your husband was impaled on a piece of shrapnel, and the piece had impaled you as well. We were able to get you off of the metal with his help. Yaten took Chibiusa here, and Taiki carried you. I tried to help Mamoru, but we both knew the wound was too great. He left a letter for you before- before..." Seiya turned away, looking ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"You must be lying," Usagi muttered, her head turned to the sheets that she clenched in her shaking fists. "Mamo-chan can't be... He can't be-" She couldn't say the word. It would make things too real. Too terribly real. 

The silence in the room was as heavy as a shroud. 

All at once, Usagi's tears fell, and she sobbed. Raw, heartbroken wails tore their way from her throat. 

Seiya's eyes watered. After a moment's hesitation, she placed her hands on Usagi's shoulders. The moment Usagi turned her watery blue eyes up at her, Seiya wrapped her arms around the crying woman. She held her in an embrace that was warm. Familiar. Safe. 

After her initial surprise faded, Usagi let go of the sheets, instead clinging to Seiya's earthy tunic as she cried on her shoulder. 

They stayed like that for what could have been hours or days, Usagi didn't know. Her world had stopped. She couldn't think, couldn't speak, could hardly breathe. 

She wasn't conscious of Yaten and Taiki slipping out of the med bay. She fell numb to the world around her. 

When Chibiusa began to fuss and cry, Usagi couldn't even bring herself to lift her head from Seiya's shoulder. 

Before leaving, Kakyuu offered to watch Chibiusa. Usagi nodded weakly, too distraught to comment.

At some point, after her eyes were bloodshot and her body shivered with exhaustion, she slipped into a fitful sleep, only to be plagued by nightmares that didn't fade upon waking. 

Through it all, Seiya stayed with her. She whispered gentle nothings as she rubbed Usagi's back and cradled her close. She did everything she wished someone had done for her. In the end though, she knew it wasn't helping. Usagi had gone close to catatonic in her arms.

Some time after Usagi had no tears left to cry, she finally let go of her grip on Seiya, resting her cheek on the damp spot on the taller woman's shoulder. 

"Seiya, do you have the letter?" Her voice was hardly a whisper against Seiya's neck.

"Yeah. Right here," Seiya replied softly as she pulled a charred piece of bunny-printed stationary from her tunic, passing it to Usagi. "I think he wanted you to have this too," Seiya said, handing Mamoru's fountain pen to her.

Usagi's lip shook again as she grasped the rose-patterned pen. 

"You know, this was his favorite pen," Usagi murmured. Her eyes scrunched shut, but she was all out of tears. "I bought it for him to celebrate our one year anniversary. But I thought the design was so cute that I borrowed it all the time." She let out the saddest laugh Seiya had ever heard. "He used to scold me for it because he never had a pen when he needed one."

Seiya frowned as Usagi took several shaky breathes.

"Seiya, I don't want to be a princess. I don't want any of this." Seiya was sure that if she weren't so dehydrated, Usagi would have been crying again. "I just want him back."

The desperation in those blue eyes took Seiya's breath away. "I know. I know, Usagi. I'm so sorry. If only we'd found you sooner- maybe we could have..."

"No, Seiya Don't go down that road. You still saved me and Chibiusa. For that I'm thankful. I just wish it hadn't ended up like this." Usagi's voice was raspy and it broke near the end, but Seiya heard every word.

"I'm still sorry." Seiya's lips twisted. She knew that wasn't the right thing to say. But what else could she do?

"Me too." Usagi sighed, pulling her knees to her chest.

Usagi's gaze fell at last to the note from Mamoru. His last words to her. She wasn't ready. Her whole being felt like it was being consumed with sorrow. Loss. Agony. She tried to read the letter, but her hands shook so intensely that she couldn't. After trying unsuccessfully for several minutes, Usagi looked back up at Seiya.

"Seiya, can you hold this steady for me, please? I can't seem to control my hands."

Seiya's heart squeezed in pain as she saw the anguish in the blonde's features. "Of course," she replied, taking the letter back and holding it as still as she could manage.

Usagi whimpered as she read the short note. Her eyes traced the familiar handwriting as it devolved into shaky, barely-legible characters. He was really dead. He had known he was dying. And now he was gone, and she was alone. 

When she finished reading, she was dry sobbing, her arms wrapped around herself as grief overwhelmed her yet again. 

In between her sobs, she cried out for him. His name tumbled from her lips like a broken prayer. She kept calling his name over and over until her voice failed and her body could no longer sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! Now that Usagi knows, the story is really gonna start to kick off.


	8. Starved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi processes the loss of her husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I try to do a chapter for this and then a chapter for my other fic, the fact that the other story's draft was not working out ended up delaying this one. I finally decided to just fix this draft up and post it so I don't leave people hanging on both fics. It's a little rough, so I apologize for any typos. I'm tired.

Seiya sat there, holding Usagi's hand and reliving the echo of her own grief. Her own screams rang in her ears even if they were nothing but memory. She fought to keep her pain buried. Now was about Usagi, not Serenity. Serenity is dead, Usagi is alive and in pain. Focus on Usagi.

And so the two of them stayed there for five days. Seiya never left the blonde's side for fear of losing her again. Taiki came and went, bringing them food and drink, but no matter how Seiya and Taiki tried, Usagi refused to eat more than a few bites. Her stomach whined and growled, but what little she ate stuck in her parched throat and tasted like tears. Seiya was beginning to fear that they might need to put her on an IV again. 

At the end of the second day, Kakyuu stopped by to ask if Usagi would like to see Chibiusa, but Usagi refused. She couldn't bear to see his nose and his dimple on her daughter's face. Not when she could never see them on him again.

Her cheeks were constantly stained with drying tears, and her eyes were dull and puffy. They were now dark and glassy, so unlike the vibrant blue Seiya had seen that first day.

At the end of the fifth day, the scar that had marked where the wreckage pierced Usagi was nothing more than a memory, but still, her light grew duller.

Seiya was so scared of losing her princess twice, but finally, after a week, Usagi picked her head up off of Seiya's shoulder to look at Kakyuu.

"I want to see Chibiusa," she said with a weak voice. She cleared her throat a couple of times, finally accepting the water Seiya offered. After taking a gulp, she tried again. "Please. I need to see her."

The priestess nodded. "Of course. I'll tell you what, why don't you two join me for dinner, and then you can pick her up from there. You look like you could use a good meal, Princess."

Usagi looked like she wanted to protest, but Seiya placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Waiting until dinner will give you a chance to get cleaned up and get more rest, Odango."

Usagi frowned. 

"I really must insist, Princess. You've had a trying week. I promise your daughter will be waiting for you happily when you're ready."

Usagi protested weakly, but she ultimately fell asleep on Seiya's shoulder as soon as Kakyuu left.

"Odango," Seiya whispered some time later as she nudged the blonde awake from another nightmare, "I'm going to take you to my room, okay? I'll get you washed up, and then we can go see Chibi-Odango, alright?"

"M'kay," Usagi mumbled blearily, trying to stand up. 

Her legs wobbled from a combination of pins and needles and malnourishment. Seiya gave a sympathetic smile as she slid one arm under Usagi's knees, and the other around her back. 

"Don't worry," Seiya said in response to Usagi's frustrated groan, "We'll get you back on your feet soon."

"Seiya, everything hurts," Usagi whined as Seiya carried her through the grand underground halls. 

"Losing the love of your life can do that," Seiya mumbled bitterly.

Usagi's eyes widened as she stared at the other woman. 

"Not that I know what I'm talking about, or anything," Seiya tried to backtrack, looking away quickly. She could see by the look on Usagi's face that the blonde didn't believe her, but she thankfully did not pry.

After five minutes, Seiya set Usagi down against the wall so she could retrieve her keys and unlock her quarters. 

Once the large, wooden door was open, Seiya offered Usagi her arm for support to walk.

Usagi took the woman's arm, gasping in awe as Seiya flipped a light on. A crystal lotus chandelier lit up the room as a beam of light bounced off the heart of it. Little rainbows decorated the walls wherever the refracted beams met, and Usagi felt like smiling for the first time in a week. 

"It's beautiful!"

"You think so? Wait until you see the bathroom," Seiya boasted, some of her pride seeping back into her face. 

Seiya patiently led her past the sitting room, through a small kitchen, and past an enormous, unmade bed before they reached the bathroom.

The crystal chandelier may have taken her breath away, but it was nothing compared to the gleaming marble and crystal bathroom that Seiya showed her. If not for the mess of bottles and containers on the counter, Usagi would have thought she was dreaming. 

The faucets were carved out of pure quartz that fell into matching bowls atop black marble. 

To the left, a large tub of opaque crystal stood atop sculpted bronze feet, and to the right, an enormous shower of the same black marble dwarfed anything Usagi had ever seen before. 

"This is incredible!"

"Thank you. It took a few months to polish the stones, and those bronze feet gave me a lot of trouble, but I'm really proud of them," Seiya replied.

"No way! You made this?"

"Of course. One of my mothers is an architect, and the other is a carpenter. I trained with them a lot when I was little. In fact, sculpture and construction was my original vocation until I awakened as a guardian."

"Wow, all I'm good for is making curry and burning cookies," Usagi said, depression creeping back into her voice.

"Hey now, I'm sure they're delicious," Seiya soothed, patting Usagi on the head and smiling softly. "Besides, I can't cook at all. Yaten always complains that I could burn water. Compared to me, I'm sure you're fantastic."

Usagi giggled, a small smile forming. "Yeah, we'll see about that."

"Oh? Did I hear a challenge there?" Seiya teased, hoping to make Usagi's smile grow wider.

It worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! I really liked the idea of making Seiya an artisan of sorts. It's good to have hobbies.


	9. Bare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi and Seiya get cleaned up before dinner. 
> 
> WARNING: This chapter mentions the canon-compliant suicide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Hurricane+ college= nightmare. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I've had the rough draft of it for a while, so I'm excited to share it.

"Here, I'll draw a warm bath for you," Seiya said, kneeling down to turn on the water. "While that's filling, I'll fetch you some clothes. They'll probably be a bit loose, but it's just until we can get you to the seamstress."

Seiya went to walk out of the bathroom, but Usagi grabbed her arm, right above the golden wrist guard. 

"Odango?"

Usagi bit her lip, staring at the floor. "Thank you," she said finally, letting Seiya go.

Seiya stared at her a moment longer, her eyes showing deep understanding. At last, she smiled, ruffling Usagi's bangs as she walked out the door. "Of course."

When Seiya left, Usagi closed her eyes, listening to the sound of the water as it bounced of the crystal tub. It was almost musical, and Usagi probably would have fallen asleep if not for Seiya returning from the bedroom, and shutting the water off. 

She was bent down, swirling her free hand through the water, making sure it wouldn't scald Usagi. Usagi watched as Seiya's hair slid over her shoulder, the ends almost long enough to touch the floor when she was bent over. 

"There we go, that should be a good temperature," Seiya said, half to herself, and half to Usagi. She set two sets of fresh clothes on a patch of her counter that she pushed the bottles off of. 

After a moment's consideration, Seiya plucked a few of the bottles off the counter. "This one, Odango," she said, holding up a bottle with a dark blue gel, "Is to cleanse your hair. The green one is for your body." She rummaged through more bottles, plucking up a pink one and wrinkling her nose. "No, not that. Hm... Where did I...? Ah!" Seiya crouched and grabbed a purple bottle from under the sink. "Lotion," she explained, holding it up to Usagi. "You can put this on afterward."

Usagi smiled softly as she watched Seiya. Something about Seiya was soothing and familiar in a way that she just couldn't place her finger on. A part of her wondered if it was the resemblance between the woman and Mamoru. She sucked in a breath and looked away, her eyes stinging dangerously. 

Without looking at Seiya, she said, "I think I've got it. Thanks."

Seiya stood up, stretching her arms above her head. She then untied the ribbon in her hair, setting the white cloth on the counter before shaking her hair out. 

Her hair was quite long, Usagi noted. Not quite as long as her own hair, but down to Seiya's thighs and thick. For a moment, she was terribly tempted to play with the woman's hair.

"If you need me, I'll be in the shower, alright? I left a towel for you beside the tub. Just call for me if you need anything, I'll be right there," Seiya promised.

Usagi nodded, eager to get out of the sweaty and tearstained dress she had woken up in when they first met.

Satisfied, Seiya walked over to the shower, sliding her wrist guards off and placing them on the counter. Usagi watched as the matching golden belt followed. Seiya continued stripping as though she couldn't feel those blue eyes on her. 

Her red tunic followed, coming off with a swift tug over her head. She kicked off her boots and tugged down the leggings until nothing but her undergarments remained. 

She smirked when she heard a soft gasp. 

"Like what you see, Odango?" Seiya questioned, her tone taking on a note of teasing incredulity. 

The sound of an indignant squeak was followed by a small splash, so she laughed. 

"I wasn't watching, or anything," Usagi finally stammered. Seiya didn't even need to turn around to know that Usagi's cheeks were red. 

"Whatever you say." Seiya knew that Usagi had turned away before she stripped bare and stepped into the shower, but she was happy to hear Usagi attempting to put herself back together.

"She's stronger than she used to be," Seiya murmured as she turned the shower on.

She breathed in the steam, relishing in the refreshing warmth of the shower after spending the week in the med bay with Usagi. 

Just as she was rinsing the conditioner out of her hair, Seiya heard a loud crash, and terror seized her.

"Odango? Odango are you okay?"

After receiving no reply Seiya threw the shower door open, sliding across the tiled floor to check on Usagi. 

When she didn't see her in the tub, Seiya freaked out, running over to the bath and slipping several times on her wet feet. 

She saw that Usagi was underwater, eyes closed, and she threw herself into the bath. 

She scooped the blonde into her arms and yanked her back up as desperation and panic gnawed at her.

As soon as Usagi surfaced, she sputtered and coughed, spitting up water. 

"Odango, are you alright? What happened!?" Seiya's voice was somewhat shrill in her worry, but Usagi didn't seem to notice.

"I went to grab the body wash, but then everything went fuzzy," Usagi managed to say between coughs. "Next thing I knew, you were here." Usagi looked down at the water which had gone slightly green from the spilled body wash. "Oh no, I'm sorry, Seiya, I spilled the body wash."

Seiya had tears in her eyes, but she laughed. "That doesn't matter, Odango, I was just so scared that I lost you." 'Again,' she thought quietly. 

As it stood, her declaration caused silence to fall between them. Seiya realized belatedly that her statement exceeded their current familiarity, and she kicked herself. 

"Seiya, you um..." Usagi trailed off, blushing.

"What?"

"You're naked."

Seiya blinked, a funny little smile crossing her face. "You are too, you know."

Usagi looked down. "Oh, that's true."

"Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, you can put me down."

Seiya slowly lowered Usagi into a sitting position before fishing the mostly-empty bottle of wash out of the water. 

Seiya was about to return to the shower when Usagi reached for her left hand. "I'm sorry, but can you stay with me, please? I'm scared that I might black out again."

Seiya's cheeks turned scarlet, which made Usagi blush too, but eventually, Seiya sighed. "Yeah, just give me a moment to turn off the shower and grab more body wash."

Two minutes later, Seiya stepped back into the tub, sinking down until only the tops of her breasts were above the water. Usagi scooted over to one side, although it was hardly necessary in the large space. 

"I don't bite, you know," Seiya said softly. "Unless asked to, that is."

Usagi squeaked, but tried to cover it up by clearing her throat. 

After a minute of awkward silence, Usagi interrupted twirling her finger through the water to ask, "Who did you lose?"

Seiya frowned, and Usagi was tempted to backtrack, but Seiya sighed in resignation when she saw that Usagi was embarrassed.

"I lost someone very dear to me, a long, long time ago." Seiya leaned her head back on the edge of the tub before continuing. "She was my best friend, and I loved her with all of my heart. She was my first love. My only love, really."

Usagi scooted closer until their legs brushed. "What happened to her?"

Seiya winced and pulled back, unable to bear Usagi's innocence in Serenity's voice. "She- she killed herself. Right in front of me."

Seiya didn't even realize she was crying until Usagi leaned over and brushed away her tears. "I'm sorry, Seiya. That must be awful."

Seiya clenched her fists. "I- I couldn't stop her. I tried, but I failed. Odango, I failed her." She opened her hands, staring at her palms in disgust. 

Usagi grabbed Seiya's shoulders and stared directly into her eyes. "That's not true, Seiya. Sometimes, you just hurt so much that nothing can stop you. If not for Chibiusa and you being there, I might have killed myself without Mamo-chan. I'm sure your friend was hurting too, and even though she loved you, she felt that she needed to leave you. Sometimes we get so weighed down by the pain that we forget that we have things to live for."

Seiya choked back a sob, unable to look at Usagi. It was hard to know that Serenity was and was not here. That her best friend was somehow this girl. But at the same time, how could Serenity be anyone else?

Seiya cleared her throat when she realized she had been staring intently at Usagi. "All right, enough of that. Let's get cleaned up. Then we can get some food and see Baby Odango."

"Chibiusa," Usagi corrected.

"I'm pretty sure that's what I said," Seiya teased. The smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but Usagi continued as though she didn't notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know your thoughts!


	10. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seiya and Usagi prepare for dinner with Kakyuu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome back to this fic. Apologies for the delay in updating. School and life are being uncooperative.

A few minutes later, Seiya helped Usagi to her feet and out of the tub. After toweling off, Seiya helped Usagi dress. The blonde insisted that it was only because she didn't know how to fasten the clothes in place. Seiya suspected Usagi liked being pampered, but she wisely kept her mouth shut.

Seiya lent her a pair of silver leggings and a jewel-toned purple tunic that she fastened with a silver belt. Usagi felt like an impatient child as Seiya rolled up the sleeves just past her wrists. 

Once Usagi was dressed, Seiya slid into a pair of black leggings and a dark, sapphire blue tunic. Usagi's eyes were drawn to the keyhole neckline. She felt herself blushing, which was ridiculous because the two of them had been naked together ten minutes earlier. Seiya had a beautiful body, Usagi thought, perhaps better than Haruka's. 

Usagi flushed again and swept thoughts of her ex-girlfriend out of her mind. God, she was a mess. The stress from losing her husband was probably doing more damage than she realized. 

"I imagine you'd like to put your hair back up in the odango, right?" Seiya said, pulling Usagi from her thoughts by offering a comb and two ribbons.

"What?"

Seiya mimed buns on her head. "You know, the way your hair was before."

"Those are called buns," Usagi complained as she took the comb and ribbons from Seiya.

"Well, here they are called odango."

"Is that why you call me that?"

Seiya gave a languid shoulder roll. "Could be."

Seiya wrapped the off-white ribbon thrice around her hair before tying it in place with ease. 

Usagi followed, albeit more slowly, as she put her hair back into her traditional style. 

When she was ready, Seiya offered her an arm for support, and the two stepped back into the corridor. 

It was only a three minute walk to Kakyuu's quarters, but Usagi's legs ached by the time they reached the doors. 

After Seiya knocked, Kakyuu waved them in with a smile. 

"The little one is right this way," Kakyuu said, leading the two women toward the center of her sitting room.

Usagi smiled weakly as she saw her daughter playing with an older toddler. This child had frosty blue hair that swirled around in a messy halo. Right above inquisitive eyes, Usagi noticed the same four-petaled flower that marked Kakyuu. 

"This is my son, Helios," Kakyuu said proudly. 

Usagi tilted her head. "I thought you didn't have men here," she said as she looked more closely at the golden-eyed child across from Chibiusa.

Kakyuu's eyes sparkled with amusement. "That is mostly true, but every so often, we have one who ends up here by accident." Kakyuu gestured toward another part of her quarters as she continued, "Four years ago, my spouse, Apollo, found himself at our doorstep." Her humor faded. "He was the last member of Prince Endymion's clan until we conceived Helios."

"Prince Endymion," Usagi repeated as images of Mamoru floated through her head. 

"Princess Serenity's lover," Kakyuu reminded.

Seiya could see Usagi's brow furrowing, and she knew that repressed memories were fighting to hurt the blonde all over again. Quickly, she changed to subject. 

"Speaking of Apollo, where is he this evening?"

Kakyuu sent her a look, having noticed the change in subject, but she decided not to comment, trusting her friend's judgement. "He's in the kitchen, preparing dinner. His roast is simply divine, I insist you try it, Princess."

Usagi smiled weakly as her stomach growled loudly. "It would be rude to turn down such an offer," she agreed, her diplomatic skills slipping back into place. "However, I insist that you call me Usagi. Regardless of who I may have been, this is who I am now."

Kakyuu dipped her head at the request. "Of course."

"Darling, the table has been set," called a voice from the kitchen.

"We'll be right there, my love."

Usagi knelt on the ground beside her daughter, a wave of guilt crashing over her for her behavior that past week. Tears pricked at her eyes. "I'm sorry, Chibiusa. I'm so sorry."

Ruby eyes blinked up at her, shifting from happy to concerned as the infant sensed her mother's sadness. Chibiusa stretched her arms up and whimpered, and Usagi scooped her up, pressing rough kisses to Chibiusa's crown and forehead. 

Kakyuu lifted Helios onto her hip, staring down at the younger woman with pity. "She missed you."

Usagi sniffled as she took Seiya's extended hand and rose to her feet with Chibiusa in her arm. She wiped at her eyes. "I missed her too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It's really more of a bridge to other things, but I felt it needed to be done.

**Author's Note:**

> Ooh, drama! 
> 
> I have a bit of this already written, but as I am writing two ongoing fics, updates may be sporadic. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.


End file.
